apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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