we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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