Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
