why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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