She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
