another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
