Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
