Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you had me at cake vodka
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
