Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
