me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
