Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
