Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
