im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
