I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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