Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
