my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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