Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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