i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
