I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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