What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
