Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
