ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
