i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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