Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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