You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
