every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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