he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
