I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
