We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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