That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ketchup is God's man juice
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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