My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
