even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
