During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
