Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
