I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
