Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
