haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
