dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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