Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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