i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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