he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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