just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
