I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
