White coat. Heels.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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