imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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