I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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