what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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