She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
