Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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