you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
